Thursday 15th July 2010
Today I've reached the milestone of 39 weeks pregnant. When I think that I could be having the baby this time next week it's so exciting. But the thought that I could be pregnant for 3 more weeks just seems too long to wait. I want to meet the baby now, see who he/she looks like, know if I'll be buying blue or pink and finally have a long awaited cuddle!!
So having got this far, my anxieties have changed from "is there even a baby in there?" and "why is it taking the midwife so long to find the heartbeat?" to "I felt a twinge, is the baby coming?". I'm not scared about giving birth, I'm incredibly excited. Every Braxton Hicks contraction (at least that's what I think they are) makes me think it will lead into the real thing. Wishful thinking, I know, the reality is I will probably still be waiting way past due date.
It's amazing how many people say how quickly my pregnancy has gone. For them, maybe! For me, it feels like I've been pregnant forever and I've still got so far to go. My hospital bag has been packed for about a month, baby clothes are all washed and hanging up, little jobs like dental check up and car insurance sorted.... The truth is now I'm just bored, everything seems to be on hold til baby comes and then I probably won't have enough hours in the day!
I'll be picking my mum up from the airport on Sunday morning - she's coming for the birth. Then I think it might start to sink in how close I am to the end. It's been stressful, every day there has been new things to worry about. Nobody warns you about how much time you spend worrying that everything is ok. And even now, I'm worrying that the baby will be born healthy, with five fingers and five toes and that I will actually know what to do and how to be this little person's mum. Phew! Only eighteen years of worry to go........
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